This is just ridiculous.
Really. 2010?
OMGoodness! Has anyone seen my last decade? I must have misplaced the thing. I mean, how could I have lived another decade and not feel like I am more than say, maybe, 10months older? Is that ginkgo doing any good at all? I think not.
My personal BIG DADDY epiphany over the last decade is that I have dedicated my entire life to making the needs and wants of others happen. Why is that? Why do women feel that they must be last on the list and that putting others first makes them top on the list.
What list? Whose list?
And all the while we convince ourselves that making others happy makes us happy, too.
Bull-pucky.
I personally have put my kids, husband (until he passed this decade) employees and professional business associates, my banker, my baker, my candlestick maker....everyone else....FIRST. Funny thing is when I tripped over the candlestick maker running out the door to get to my son's lacrosse game, it hit me......
I hope he doesn't sue me....what was my medical injury coverage on my homeowners insurance?
Nah, it isn't ridiculous!
ReplyDeleteBut.....
Hmmmmmmm. "Why do women feel that they must be last on the list and that putting others first makes them top on the list." I take....well, I won't say 'personal offense' at this....but, excuse me, is there some document that says ONLY women put themselves last?
My past decade has put me, equally, at the bottom of the list, in allowing those in my life to be at the top. This includes (unfortunately) the 8 "relationships" in those 10 years where I allowed myself to be both adored and trampled: adored because I spared no expense to show them I cared and trampled because they took advantage of that expense.
I know this sounds like a very bitter statement but please know that it isn't. And the sole reason that it isn't is that, yes, I allowed this to happen so I can't very well complain about it (even though I do.....hehe). As I look back on it, I thought I'd be putting myself at the top of the list but that wasn't the case.
At the time I was doing all of it, i DID feel happy as I made them happy. In fact, it was rather gratifying. (Later, it became self-agrandizing, which certainly isn't a good thing!)
The only person who I don't begrudge being at the top IS my son. But being my son ALLOWS him to be at the top of any list, just as Rick and Jared are at the top of your list as sons (as well as your daughters, too).
The last 10 years have shown me plenty of helpful tips about how not to spend my next 10 years. The primary one, however, is to show MYSELF the expenses that I have shown others, to show myself the love and caring that I seemed to forget to give myself, and to love those I care the most about by simply showing it.
I still may not be at the top of the list...but I sure won't be at the bottom, either!
However, let me caution you about that candlestick maker:
I think he's a scam artist... he's got a real racket going there and is placing himself, unassumingly, right next to the front door so WE WILL trip on him and then sue us so he can pay his expenses to Cancun in the Spring! Keep a close eye on him as he assumes various disguises, including looking like your banker!
Lovingly-
Sam
Thanks for the comment Sam. And point taken on the personal relationship perspective of putting others first.
ReplyDeleteI think what I was thinking when I wrote the post was that it is more of an American cultural aspect to women's lives that putting others first at the expense of their own needs, whether that be for self development, or self correction of poor behavioral choices, or just being able to say NO, enough, I am not able to take that on my plate. In my experience, in our generation, men have not been culturally expected to "do it all" although some most certainly have. You being one.
And that candlestick maker.....turns out he is a she! So more than likely there will be no law suit as she probably doesn't have the time it takes to tackle it!
:)